Why did she not want an affair with my husband, what do you think about her?

Please stop asking this question. You know the answer....he is still in love with her and you were a fool to marry him knowing full well he wasn't over her. Given the opportunity he will leave you for her without giving you a second thought. It is time you took your head out of the sand and recognize you will always be second best for him....leave now and give yourself the chance to find real happiness in the future with a man who loves you and not someone else. Don't settle for this man.